It was a momentous week in the SEC, with a lot going on. But that won’t stop me from trying to summarize all of it in only twelve grammatically tortured sentences. Because brevity is the soul of snark.
Alabama: There’s nothing like beating up on a marginal Auburn team to convince playoff voters that Alabama is still a dynasty.
Arkansas: Saturday was obviously a painful day for Sam Pittman, but also he apparently is in need of hip surgery.
Auburn: If Hugh Freeze can’t even beat Not Nick Saban, what exactly is his purpose on the Plains again?
Florida: Gator fans have to be the most arrogant supporters of a 7-5 football team that I’ve ever seen, but somehow I kind of get it.
Georgia: Arguably the worst Kirby Smart team since 2016 is better than what is clearly the best Georgia Tech team since 2014.
Kentucky: Mark Stoops isn’t going anywhere, and for the first time in a decade Wildcat fans may be viewing that as bad news.
LSU: The Bayou Bengals needed to beat Oklahoma to give Brian Kelly time to right a Tiger airboat that had been taking on serious water.
Mississippi State: The Bizarro Bulldogs have essentially been playing for 2025 since the season began, no reason for the Egg Bowl to be any different.
Missouri: Eliah Drinkwitz’s team found its level as the season went on, and unfortunately that level was seventh in the SEC.
Oklahoma: Brent Venables may be the only SEC head coach who enters 2025 squarely on the hot seat.
Ole Miss: The Egg Bowl against a feisty but flawed Mississippi State was always a no-win proposition for the Rebels, and a two touchdown victory was about as good as it was ever going to get.
South Carolina: Hey Dabo, guess who is touchdown Jesus’s favorite Palmetto State football coach now?
Tennessee: Allowed Vanderbilt to have just a little hope before remembering who they are: a three loss SEC team somehow still on the playoff bubble.
Texas: The Longhorns answered questions in the run game, confirmed they have the answers defensively, and enter Signing Day and the SEC Championship with a ton of momentum.
Texas A&M: Oftentimes in life when you try to walk away from your problems they end up following you, and then they knock you out of playoff contention and then gloat about it for 364 days.
Vanderbilt: The measure of Clark Lea’s progress in Nashville is that this wasn’t a game Commodore fans hoped to keep close, but instead a game they (reasonably) hoped to win, and perhaps that makes it even worse.
Until later….
Go ‘Dawgs!!!